THE SAFEST SPACE FOR MY UNSOLICITED OPINIONS

Imagine a set of circumstances when you are attracted with one that your friends -or you- call a perfect guy. Only for seconds you meet and throw a quick conversation, you’re able to figure out that he is well-adjusted with sense of humour, good personality plus a nice looking and appearance you actually like. Let’s say, he is all your type.

You endure nights wondering and all you think every time you wake up back there is how to keep seeing that guy. You start planning out scenarios. And somewhere else, he just does the same. He constantly texts you to acknowledge what has been spinning around in your daily routine. He seems eager to meet you often so that he likes so much asking you out. For some matters, of course it is positively a good sign to start a serious relationship. He and you begin consciously going on casual dates: watching movies, spending nights talking, telling each other jokes and those embarrassing daily stories over drinks or dinners. You find out that both of you might have several things in common.

Nevertheless, days after days, weeks after weeks, less than two or three months, at sudden you feel…..that’s it. You begin questioning yourself. He seems perfect, at least for now, but why is your heart not going pitter-patter? You don’t get butterflies in your stomach. You see that this would go nowhere. There’s no real chemistry as you used to wish to have, despite he has a lot of topics to match, despite his family welcomes you truly well, despite maybe he is a committed environmentalist just like Leonardo freaking DiCaprio. There is no wow factor. You just leave his chats and messages unanswered, slowly stop thinking of him beyond the range of ordinary frequency like you used to do. There is even no “I would have his babies” kind of thought running on your head. You only miss the fun, you miss the moments, but you don’t miss him.

No, you’re not weird. You’re not a nutcase to dump or avoid someone who is perfect and physically attractive for you. It’s not because the unrealistic high expectations of one perfect guy, not because you’re still attached with a couple of unresolved pasts lingering on the mind, not because you can’t be emotionally invested in one special bond, but something would just not be synchronized if you go far or start a more serious relationship with him, and maybe you can never fix it. You may not fall in love with probabilities, and you’re clearly sure that both of you are not one soul in two bodies. It’s not your fault to lose interest. You know what you want, so you have to know what you don’t want, too. The way you can’t decide when to fall in love is pretty same with the way you can’t decide when to fall out of it. In the end, maybe you’re just not that into him.