THE SAFEST SPACE FOR MY UNSOLICITED OPINIONS

My little determination to write this short piece is not based on those several common “being 23 years old is the worst life experience” articles on the internet. It is just basically about what I have been through this year which perhaps will be one of the most honest blog entries I have ever published.

If most people say you have to be careful when turning 23 years old, believe me, it’s not a myth. I can start by saying: being 23 is conflicting. It feels like I am too old to crash college or school stuff, but not old enough to be occupied with those responsibilities of what this life offers. My network gets larger, my essential necessities get bigger, so do my expenses, but my inner circle gets smaller. I feel like a walking contradiction. Without any purpose of referring to Britney Spears, I am nestled between being a girl and being a woman, and all I know is that I should become a functioning adult.

The real world feels so enormous as I entered the age of 23. And the word ‘enormous’ doesn’t even sound enough for this complexity, in which I have too many wants and whims, too many interests to compile. There’s a complicated stage when I can’t even decide which passions I have to fulfill. Congratulations, Keke! There are so many options, so that it just keeps me away from choosing anything at all. It’s either I’m ahead of the war or I’m just in the midst of uncertainty.

Being 23 years old is sometimes scary and agonizing. I am afraid if I could not do something meaningful in my youth. I am afraid of being in a period where I don’t have enough strength and maturity to overcome the social pressures. I am afraid I would end up unsuccessful. I am afraid that I am not able to reach my (abstract) goals. Of course, this kind of thought somehow really upsets me. Why do I have to be afraid? Is it because I am a pessimist? Or is it only because I am still 23 years old? Nah.

On the other hand, being 23 feels adventurous. I should agree with the statement that says it’s a pivotal turning point where we must have understood our life direction so that I dare myself to make crucial decisions, to take risk of this and that, to step out a bit from my comfort zone, even my own passions, to take steps forward, to get lost.

As it happens, being 23 for me is also knowing that things around us don’t just fall into their place like that. I am the one who should put them there and never let the worry be a barrier, because in the end, nobody really cares about what we choose. Nobody really does if we don’t follow our passions and change the life path or not. I am grateful for once being tangled. That is the moment when I approach myself to push out this random perspective. Everything of importance in our various chapters of life has irrefutable value, including when we’re being 23. Cheers.