THE SAFEST SPACE FOR MY UNSOLICITED OPINIONS

 “No one laughs at God when their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake.” – Regina Spektor (Laughing With, 2009)

Apart from the fact I lose count on how many times calculating the budget leaves me tangled, traveling is still one of those things I’m very passionate about, and of course flying is sometimes the part of it. What people around me don’t know is, no matter how many volumes of information provided about safety given by the airline industry, flying can terrify me at times.

To be honest, I don’t remember exactly when I start being so anxious when flying, because as long as I recall, I used to fly alone sometimes back in college and I never experienced any serious trauma that scared me. Even no acrophobia. But now, to combat a worry of flying while experiencing turbulence surely takes a lot of courage. I don’t even have to mention that seeing news coverage about plane accidents gives me more a case of nerves.

According to the article I randomly found in internet by Martin N. Seif, PhD (the founder of Anxiety and Depression Association of America), we need to understand the trigger for overcoming this fear of flying. For example, a person who is sensitized to certain bodily feelings might fear bumpy ride on a plane or normal take-off and landing process, while someone who fears heights might be afraid thinking about being many miles above the ground. Myself? My trigger is the biting reality that I’m the type of a person who overthinks much things, include doing solo trips with airplanes.

It’s more than just a “who will be sitting next to me?” kind of curiosity. I often come with a lot of questions like: What if there’s an imminent technical error? What if there’s an emergency evacuation but I can’t open my safety belt? What if one of the wings crack? Would the massive storm destroy the plane? How about we’re out of radar at sudden and the pilots lose the navigation?  I’m sure I can feel the worry floods my mind, gushing all over the body because in reality, I realize that there is no safer seat, despite I read somewhere that our chance of being in a fatal accident is one in seven million.

When these thoughts revolve around my head, I try to find things to do as the plane is ready to take off. I pray or start listening to the music or reading the books I’m bringing  or -if I’m lucky enough to have this honored seat- is staring at the window. I’ve read an article from The School of Life, the point of staring out of a window is paradoxically not to find out what is going on outside, but an exercise in discovering the contents of our own minds. I don’t want to philosophize. My purpose of staring at the window in the airplane is trying to control my mind to wow at those beautiful clouds (in morning/afternoon) or the dark night sky (in night flight) so I can forget my anxiety while listening to my traveling starter pack playlist.

Usually, when the flight attendants come offering me a meal with smile in their face somehow I feel better. Every time the thought about how friendly they are comes to my mind, I always calm down. Funny, huh. If they can stay cool, so why can’t I? I’m not living up in the air each single day, I say to myself. After this phase of mind, I can be relax and sleep until the plane is ready to land.